No more kids??!!

So I'm sitting here confused and feeling a little depressed, I feel like no one is in my corner or approving of us having more kids... The hubby finally got on board and even worked on a "timeline" for when but it seems everyone is against us having more, except my family! A family member keeps saying how the middle child ends up messed up or lacking or missing something, and that is a very hard pill to swallow bc my Ashley was the middle child and we all know how that ended, and now a very close friend of ours has "put their foot down" my entire life I have wanted 3 or more kids, and when I lost my Ashley I felt that even more so. I love the two babies I have but I feel like something is missing... I dreamed of the white picket fence, 2.5 children and the dog. And the dog, nor the fence are what is missing.... I want more children, but I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, partially bc I know we are not in the position to have a child right now and bc I feel the world is against us... I feel like maybe people believe I'm not a good enough mother to the two I have, which devastates me bc I battle the constant feeling that I'm not good enough or deserving enough to have the two wonders I do... I'm stressed and upset, with my emotions in a fragile state and last night didn't make it any better. I dunno what to do or what to think...